Friday, December 17, 2010

Top Three Pet Peeves at the Gym

If you had met me years ago you would have met one of most optimistic people in the world, I could always find the silver lining to everything. In the last few years my outlook has soured, but even with this I have retained a love for diversity and therefore a great tolerance for others.

I have many pet peeves but I rarely say anything about them as I try to be tolerant of others. However, this week all the planets aligned and I was hit by all three of my gym pet peeves between Sunday and last night.

  1. THE CIRCLE JERK- This one happens fairly often, and can happen one of two ways. Either way it is just inconsiderate of others. CB works out in the cardio room at the Y, usually riding a bike. In that room the Circle Jerk is when Friend A is going to the gym so Friend B joins them. Friend B has no intention of working out, but if Friend A rides a bike, Friend B sits on the bike next to him. If Friend A is using the elliptical, Friend B is going to STAND on the machine next to him.

    In the weight lifting room it is a little different. Friend A and Friend B are hanging out or lifting together, I can never really tell. They walk to Station X, which happens to be the only one of its type in the gym, and load the bar with weights. Then they stand with one on friend on each side of the station and talk. After 10 minutes pass one of them will complete 1 set and they will again stand on each side and converse for another 10 minutes. This repeats until it is thoroughly annoying. If you walk up to ask if you can work in a set, they will not break conversation and will ignore your presence.
  2. THE DIRTY ASS- We are at the gym and just like any other physical activity sweat is expected. As sweat is expected so is a certain level of funk. It happens, I workout and I get funky too. This is different, this is just shameful and has happened to me twice this week. On Sunday I was getting my long run in on the treadmill since it was 14 degrees and sleeting outside. In came Gym Member X who smelled strongly of unclean house and baby powder. Apparently expecting to get funky she prepared by coming in baby fresh. Except, she now reeked of two smells and apparently her entire workout circuit involved the four machines surrounding my treadmill. Every time she moved the smell drafted and I choked.

    Last night, in came Gym Member Y who had the similar problem. Except he smelled of dirt. I do not mean that he smelled dirty. Some may understand what I mean, after many years working construction full and part time, not to mention digging holes at the rescue squad station in flip-flops and swim trunks (thanks Chief), I can recognize the smell of dirt itself. You could smell him from five feet away.This was only compounded while in the middle of my heaviest bench press set when he bent over me to get some weights that were racked on my bench. I choked and dropped the bar on myself.

    These people are the close cousin of the guy who bathes in after shave to lift weights.
  3. THE NAKED OLD GUY- This is classic and I saw two posts dedicated to his topic last Friday. This has not happened to me in a long time, but with the planets aligned this week it was bound to (actually I think all of the blogging summoned them out of winter hibernation). Monday morning I slipped to the locker room to relieve myself while resting between sets and it happened. While walking past the lockers to the door a random overweight grayed haired man, naked as the day he was born, standing captain morgan style on the bench attempted to engage me in conversation. He politely asked some question like "Dis you see the game last night, Panthers don't have much of season left now do they?" I had my headphones in and I pretended to not here him and kept walking.

THE FLEXER- This is not a pet peeve but every time I see it I laugh and shake my head. It is always a guy between age 16 and 25 and mid way through his workout, just like clock work, he is going to take a break and find a mirror to flex and revel in his muscles. It gets worse when they start rubbing and touching. I have even seen guys in sweatshirts do it. I could understand this is in a Power lifting type gym, but this is a YMCA; and how come I never see women flexing at themselves?


misszippy said...

So funny! They exist universally!

Big Daddy Diesel said...

Tis season, to see all of this with the cold weather, wait till the new starts and the new resolutionist take over the gym

Adam said...

What IS it with the naked old guys?? I have never understood that.

Kevin @ Half TRI-ing said...

I see all these guys everyday at the guy. You also have the one who weighs 140lbs who tries to squat 6 plates and moves only 1 inch and calls it a perfect squat.