Thursday, August 26, 2010



Goal: 1000m long swim, eat healthy

Results: AM 400m swim, PM 500m swim

Diet setbacks: 2 slices of pizza, three brownies, and two classes of coke

Today is the kind of day that makes me glad I have fitness in my life to use to address stress. Over the three months since I began this blog you may have read once or twice that I do not like my job. I am usually in my office reading 20 blogs a day because I am bored. I was at my wit's end last night, I actually began praying for a new job or to be exposed to the essons I am suppose to elarn from this one.

My job is provide counselling to inmates and to run the incentive wage program at our facility. Incentive wage is inmate jobs within the facility. I do not hire or supervise the inmate's I just organize their hiring, paperwork, training, etc. I am like HR for inmate janitors and cooks. Although my co-workers would argue, managing my program and counselling 75 inmates is not a momentous task (this may be because I have had a larger workload before). I can usually do my job in 4 half days per week. In fact, and I apologize for the political incorrectness, after I learned my duties I even told my supervisors that I could be replaced by a retarded monkey.

Things have gotten worse lately. Not only is my job essentially useless, I have not been able to do it because the individuals I work with could care less. The work supervisors of the inmates are all of higher rank then me so when they do not care about Standard Operating Procedure (SOP), protocol, or paperwork it makes my job harder. Since they out rank me I can't order them to fix thier issues. Unfortunately, many of them are under-qualified for their positions and have gotten them via politics. Such is working for the government.  I know for a fact that I am better prepared for many of their jobs and could do the work with less effort. Some of the position would still leave me bored because, I have a fast learning curve for most things like this.

I learned that I could not go to my management to for help with my issues because they lack testicles. I bring a problem to their attention and I get responses like we can't reprimand her because she has been reprimanded too many times and she might try to file a law suit for discrimination, or we can't talk to him because he will pull the race card, or everyone knows he is in over his head so we don't want to put more on him. Put more on him? This is more this is learning how to do your duties that are already assigned!

By the end of my shift my head was pounding because I am was frustrated that my work is pointless, no one will help, and this job is not meeting my personal needs. Personal needs, how can a job meet personal needs? No, not those kind of needs! In a work environment I need a few things to remain happy (or enough of them to make me content). First, a mental challenge. Second, ability to be physically active. Third, a job with a purpose. Fourth, the ability to create. Fifth, money. I will not be happy with any one component alone and honestly money does rank last (so long as is in line with the duties and pays my bills).

This job meets none of these. I do not know where to go from here. My first high school jobs left me feeling a similar way. Through high school and summers in college I worked at Domino's Pizza, a grocery store, and many years in construction or landscaping. These were not intellectually challenging but at the times I knew they were not permanent.  Actually, I like construction because I got to be outside and build things.

In college I worked as a resident assistant and graduate hall director. These weren't as bad but with the speed I learn things I burnt out quickly. Luckily, they were also temporary.

Since leaving grad school, I first worked as Correctional Officer. I left this position because there was no mental challenge and I worked with a lot of people who did not care about public safety and barely had a general education. It is hard to sit with someone for 12 hours who the deepest thought they have is so did you hear Puff Daddy got a mohawk, I hope they show it on the news tonight. I left and became a Parole Officer, chance to make arrests, clean up the streets and make more money. Turned out I was working with the same quality of people, just with college degrees, and the job lacked a purpose. I learned quickly that we were only there for show, no real justice was being done in our system (in fact I tried to start a blog about the injustice in the system but writing it just made me mad ). mY wife wabntes me to go back to parole because the money was better, but I can't convince her it not worth it to me.

In October I started this position as a Correctional Case Manager, less pay, but less stress. That is the only positive thing I can say. It sucks when in three jobs I have been told by a supervisor in each one that my expectation are too high.

I need a change, but I do not know to what. Very many of the jobs in my field (FBI, US Marshals, Secret Service, etc.) that i think I would like I am to get i can't due to my debt from college loans. I would love to find a jobs that allows me to use some of the skills I acquired during my master degree program. I laugh whenever I look back at being told in grad school not to accept a starting position making at least $40k. I took a position making half that when i got out of school.

I need a life change that allows me to meet the majority of the needs I listed above, but I do not  know how to get there.  I have though of going back to school but I need to pay the bills and don't need any more student loans. I have though about Thins I might enjoy doing, teaching civics in high school or middle school, teaching criminal justice or political science in college, web design, teaching martial arts, being a full time back country guide, airline pilot, military intel. or spec ops, or a photographer (the photo journalist type). If you want to call BS on any of these please feel free, I encourage others thoughts to help me evaluate my own logic. (I would also list pro athlete but I'm realistic enough to know that won't happen)

I feel like I am having a mid-life crisis at 27. I feel like I have so much potential that is being wasted. Once my potential is being capitalized and my earning matches my work, I have a backlog in my head of all the material things I would some day love to own, but those are secondary to reaching my potential and I think the desire for crap just comes from not having much ever.

Anyways, on to training and diet. I left work and headed straight to the pool for bubble therapy. I just wanted to let the water relax me. My goal was to make up the 1000 meter swim  I didn't complete this morning, but I only got in 500 meters before the pool closed. Before work I made my first attempt at this workout but there was an unposted geriatric physcial therapy class taking up the entire pool (not aqua aerobics).   The life guard said I could swim the short way, 44 feet each way. By her calculations I would need 75 laps to complete my workout. I forgot my goggles so  made it just over 400 meters before I quit.

After my PM workout I went home and attempted the Hard Core club workout, the last 9 times I have tried it something work related has come up and I didn't get the chance. This time I realized i left my list of exercises at work. I remembered the crunches, the push ups, side, hip, and supine bridge, plank, shoulder taps, and stretch. It was still decent, but would have been better for the whole workout. Not feeling very great I polished off the left over pizza, brownies, and coke from my wife's church group meeting.


Matty O said...

Love the retarded monkey comment.

FYI, careful what you write on the blogosphere. As much as you hate your job it is a paycheck man.

I feel you though, same situation with me. I am learning to like it and find the benefit of what I do.

Keep your head up and your eyes open for another job :)

Andrew Opala said...

You know the monkey lobby is going to get after you ...

you know there is something to be said for a post that has the words "testicles" and "Domino's Pizza" in it

sorry you feel that your life is being wasted, I have often felt this way when I was young ... if you feel you are making a difference maybe you should keep this in mind ... dunno ... still trying to figure out how to wash my hands of your monkey comment

Kovas Palubinskas said...

Bummer post Luke. I was a teacher for 6 years (elementary school) and I really never even liked it. Not sure what your degree is in, but I have to say that I love working for the federal government. Good pay, decent hours, interesting work. I'd suggest checking and seeing if anything catches your eye.

misszippy said...

You're in a tough spot...I hope you can figure out where you want to go/what you want to do and find the path to get there. Good luck!

Molly said...

sorry things aren't going so well right now, hang in there.