Goals: AM-swim drills Pm- 30 minute Tempo run
Results: PM- 800m drills, 25 minute tempo run.
Diet: egg whites, black tea, celery with peanut peanut butter, grilled chicken breasts, meatballs with small serving of pasta.
Thoughts: I woke up and was way to cold to go walk to the Y and swim, decided to push it into the evening. Hectic day at work kept my mind off the the weekend. Got home and went for my swim. Swam 800m of drills 100m warm up, rhythm drill, 200m one arm swimming, 100m recovery drill, closed fist drill, catch-up, and kicking.
Out of pool, right into a 30 minute tempo run. At about 17 minutes in I realized I was out of fuel. I kept pushing but as I rounded 20 minutes I was watching my pace drop (hills and no food=bad). I waited until I had 2.5 miles even and decided to walk the last few minutes. I think it is better to conserve now and be stronger later. Two more scheduled workouts in the taper- a 90 minutes easy spin and a slow swim tomorrow. I still think I am going to bag a short jog or swim on Saturday just to keep my mind right. Nothing hard at all, a leisurely pace. Maybe I will run with Holly.
As I said earlier my way of avoiding obsessing this week is to think write about other things. Before I get to that I have one thing I will obsess about today (other than where is my trisuit, should be here any day now). With watching and reading stuff about Kona all week, today I had to step back and take a look at myself. This can easily be called the most important triathlon all year. Kona is such a big deal, not only do you have to earn a place there (mostly), but winning makes you the world champion. That take a lot of work. With that in mind, why am I obsessing about a small local, race? It's not Kona, it's not an Ironman, it's not an Ironman 70.3, it's not an ITU, it's not even part of a circuit. With so many more important races and so many of you I converse with near daily that have done those races, like Emz running 50 miles against horses, Molly recently with a marathon, more of you than I can list finishing Steelhead, Mooseman, Timberman, Rhode Island, etc, etc, etc., or Diesel winning the Aquabike division in his circuit (not official, but you did so good I can't possibly jinx it); this made me think to myself to myself "self.... knock it the **** off and chill out this isn't that important".
After a few minutes I rethought things. To ME this IS important. This is kind of like my personal Kona (very weak metaphor but it makes more sense to me). It may be a small local race, but like pros who train hard all year for everything to culminate at Kona, this is comes at the end of 50 weeks of trying to make positive life changes and get back in shape (I've actually never been in shape). I keep obsessing because I want to prove myself to ME. Trophies and medals are motivating, but doing my BEST is the MOST important thing to me. That's why I have been obsessing for weeks about bikes, times, splits, and gear. I know what my best is and I want it to come out. This race has the potential to disappoint me and I realize this (I might being crying like I just finished an Ironman), but I am going to push until I have nothing left in hopes that even if I don't like my splits, I have no excuses. I left everything on the course.
I VOW to continue positive changes and an endurance sports lifestyle, and am proud to say that I have gone from barely running to running double digits, not being able to finish 25m pool lengths to swimming more than a mile. As of this morning I have lost 43 pounds in 50 weeks (the longest I have stuck to a healthy lifestyle and I know I fell off a few times). I know I have more to lose, but for the first time in my life I have walked out on my deck without a shirt on and not cared what the neighbors might say about the fat boy. That is a great feeling. This may be a feeling better understood by my peers who are trying to get in shape or change their lifestyles, but maybe some of the prolific athletes were there once in their lives too.
I often think about what the seasoned athletes that follow my blog must think about what I write. Completing monumental races and victories and reading my whining about wanting to get my pace on the bike up from 12mph to 15mph. Despite that everyone is still always encouraging, but in the end I write this for me. And one thing I KNOW is that this race is a milestone for me. I like the term milestone, because it indicates it is a marker, NOT A DESTINATION. Right now I am traveling the road not knowing how long the road is. It could be 26.2, 70.3, 100, 140.6 or longer, but all I know is that this is just the FIRST milestone!
I apologize now for this post. This has probably been the most emotional posts I have written. It started as one thing and went somewhere else, but it is just what is on my mind. I am not going to go to the top to edit the lead-in of wanting to discuss something else. I leave it as a surprise when you get here, the other stuff can wait. Apparently my subconscious wanted this out and not knowing who to share it with, you guys got it. I left another surprise below :).